Please find below a selection of stories from the participants on the TRP programme both past and present.
Participant’s StoryWhich way to go I wish the sun would shine just right , not dull, not covered, but big and brightAnd sit up there, for me to see, which path to take… My destinyWhich way to go, which way is right, I’ve taken this chance, to change my life
I’ve faced the fear the loss and pain, now I know I ‘ve so much to gain
The time has come the times just right I’ve taken this chance, to change my life
So sun shine bright for me to see the path to a new life that’s waiting… just for me
Participant T.R.P.
As i lie here on my bed, overly tired, wishing i could sleep but my head seems so wired.
I try to concentrate on going to sleep but all I can hear is the sound of my heart beats. So I get out of bed and turn on the light. There’s not much to do so I decide just to write.
Now that I’m writing I reflect on my day. Where I went, what I did and what did I say.
Did I really listen to others when they were talking to me or am i afraid to because it means I will be feeling those feelings I’m trying not to feel.
Im feeling guilty now as I’m writing my thoughts, but I know that by acknowledgement I will get some relief and hopefully now I will be able to sleep….
MK - 17/06/10
My recovery is like a river, flowing down a hill
On a long and winding journey, but never keeping still
It seems to take forever, when will it ever end?
Never knowing what to expect, around the next bend
I am overcoming obstacles, I am falling from great heights
But i’m sure I’ll keep on moving, as long as I can fight
One day it will be over, and my river will reach the sea
Addiction will have lost its grip, and finally i’ll be free
But for now, i’ll keep on going, just one day at a time
And as long as i stay flowing, I know that i’ll be fine.
PD - 2000
Participant’s Story
I ended up on the streets, how I got there is of no consequence at this time. I had nowhere to live and nowhere to be. One night I was in a door way alone, again, all I had was the clothes on my back, which I had been wearing for ages and a sleeping bag. I had been injecting myself three or four times daily. It was so cold I knew I wasn’t created for this. So I prayed to god for some decent friends , that night I prayed so hard, finally I fell asleep my hands were still clutched together. I woke up the next day, nothing had changed. I still had a few quid from yesterdays begging one day was like the next. (Ground Hog Day)
I would be the first one waiting for the off licence to open, for some dutch courage to beg, by twelve I would have enough money for a bag or two. A week or so went by, when I fell and broke my back and I was in hospital for two months. I went through so much pain but the anguish was worse, I didn’t know if id be in a wheelchair for life. Slowly but surely I started walking again, with some aids. I was discharged on to the streets, at this time I was two months clean and I was living on borrowed time. I soon got a hostel, people in there were still using drugs and amazingly I didn’t want to. I was moved to another hostel and it was exactly the same as the last one.
I started doing the NA meetings, but the fear inside me was too much to bear. I was moved to a Simon Community place in East Wall, that’s were my recovery really took off. Even though I was too scared to open my mouth in meetings just meeting up with clean decent people scared me. Generally in the past 30 years of addiction I’ve only been clean for a week or so. After about five months clean I was moved to Tallaght I was scared but moved reluctantly. I started to attend T.R.P, meeting the same people daily for four hours wasn’t going to help me. They were so respectful to each other. At first my language was so course, but these people have all been were I’ve been to some degree. I didn’t like many people, and hated the rest, but I started warming to these people.
It hasn’t been as tough as I first thought it would be, but the thing I like most about TRP is the respect from everyone in T.R.P, the staff and my peers respect me and I respect them and I have somewhere to be.
Thanks T.R.P for helping me and giving me a chance, these people are helping me.
Participant T.R.P
Participant’s Story
I began using at a young age and as I went through my teens my using progressed till I was using heroin on a daily basis.
As I grew my addiction grew until my life was out of control. I tried to get clean many times in different treatment centres,
Detox units and Detoxing with the clinic I was on, but none of these worked for me. I then began to accept that I would be on Methadone for the rest of my life even though this was the last thing I wanted. Then in 2006 I got friendly with a girl who has been attending a day programme in TRP, we would talk about things and as the time went on I could see how this programme was working for her so I started to get a bit of hope and thought ‘If it can work for her maybe it would work for me!’, I knew I wouldn’t do it alone.
I had a support worker from the clinic refer me to TRP in early 2007 and after an assessment and three week induction I was accepted onto the programme. I was delighted that I had one more attempt of reaching my dream and that was to be able to live my life without using drugs. It took me a little while to settle into the group but I had made a commitment to myself that I was going to give myself a real chance at recovery this time, because all the attempts I made in the past had failed because I didn’t give myself the chance, as soon as it got tough I ran.
During my time in TRP I learnt all about my addiction and what it involved, my thinking, attitudes and behaviours. I learnt new coping skills for daily living as I was totally unmanageable in all areas of my life. I learnt these skills through courses like Communications, Anger Management, Parenting etc. I also learnt a lot from my group and they always supported me in good times and especially tough times.Although I struggled at times on the programme I got a lot of knowledge and strength through these times and today I am living my life one day